Welcome all

Hello all and welcome to my blog (this is one of the nicest things you will ever here me say), in which i will whine and be cynical about different things until you'll either want to put a bullet through your head or drown yourself in your own piss.

I am now Jooseman, the Artist formerly known as Jonith, and I have stopped using the name Jonith regularly (however do still have many accoun named Jonith, so go by both) as it got confusing, So call me Jooseman or Joose or whatever. Call me TwatBucket if it pleases you.

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Rants up on this blog on Friday if I've done one, just too add a little bit of schedule here.

Anyway thats all from me, and also check out Rofling Officer Productions. He is a collaborater of mine.

Sunday, 14 August 2011

The Diaries of Jonith of Gilneas and Pordit Bronzebeard 4

Now with a Public Service Announcement, John Smith (the non RP bit) –Due to many different reasons, we have been unable to do our RP quest for the last few weeks, so the dates maybe more off than an ugly prostitute, now to carry on with the journey)

August 8th-11th

Jonith- The days have been long, difficult and caused extreme loss to the Alliance, and friendships. Let me tell you from the start.

After meeting Keeshan, we where tasked with freeing his comrades, we were getting Bravo Team back together. After we had rescued them, Keeshan agreed to join us, and we sailed across the lake, to set up our preparations against the orcs on the other side.

After setting up base camp, the first thing we discovered was that our Point of Contact, Brubaker, an SI:7 agent, had been killed, his body dishonourably hung up for the ravens. Damn them orcs, but even worse, they now knew we were coming, it was a race against time to get all supplies ready, camouflage, chloroform, and explosives.

After preparation, I, Pordit and Jorgensen of Bravo Team distracted the guards of the Orc camp and snuck in, covered in camouflage, knocking out any in our way, to free the many P.O.Ws the orcs had captured, the monsters. After the prisoners had been freed, and safely escaped the area, we planted bombs around the camp, before fleeing to Keeshan’s forward outpost and blowing into a crater the orcs and their dragons.

The next problem we had was the Grand Magus Doane and his army of Gnolls, who follow him around more than a pervert with a prostitute, or Pordit with a prostitute. After fighting our way through many Gnolls to get the key to Doane’s tower, we fought our way up and confronted him. Just before we could kill that slimy bastardised traitor though, he teleported away, mentioning something called Darkblaze.

Shit, I was woken up this morning to the sound of a tank being dropped off at our location by Troteman. Also hundreds of deadly orcs.... God I wish you could get a cup of tea anywhere other than Gilneas. Us and Bravo team got into the tank, while Keeshan manned the machine gun, as we massacred the orcs who were coming to meet us, before cutting a path through to Troteman’s camp, ready to meet the Orcs in one final battle.

The final showdown, a fight through the Orcs stronghold of Stonewatch keep before killing their leaders Gath’llzog and Tharil’zun. However all was not as it seemed, and as soon as We, and Bravo team tried to flee, the dragon Darkblaze, otherwise known as Doane. We fought him for what seemed like hours until... until the heartless fucking bastard killed the whole of Bravo Team except Keeshan....

THEY ALL DIED, THEY ALL FUCKING DIED (tear drops scatter the page), AND NON OF THEM WILL BE REMEMBERED. After the rest of his team had been murdered by the bastard, Keeshan... Keeshan sacrificed himself for the people of Lakeshire, and no one will ever know. We are the last surviving members of Bravo Team however, and they will live on with us. For the Alliance and for Bravo Team!

August 12th

Pordit-Keeshan's dead... The bravest man the Alliance has ever seen. Blink of an eye. Gone. His death affected me more than Jonith, I grew angry from my grief and seeing that he wasn't given a hero's funeral. I denounced the Alliance publicly to him, swearing that when I got my throne back my first action would be to leave the Alliance. The Dwarves are for the Dwarves; that was my new motto. Jonith was not impressed, declaring me a traitor. I was completely adamant that the Alliance is wrong, but when I woke up the other day I had an epiphany. I was wrong. Keeshan died for the Alliance, and so will I.

Arrived in Darkshire (Duskwood), that morning, and completed some jobs the locals had. Didn't want to stay long, Duskwood is creepier than a Worgen's vagina. Got a few jobs from "Abercrombie", a seemingly friendly hermit. Though why a hermit would want help from an outsider is pretty stupid. He asked for weirder and weirder stuff, finally "zombie juice". But after I gave him the juice Jonith and I left Duskwood, heading south. He didn't seem pleased. I had a bad feeling about him.

We're currently in Northern Stranglethorn, trying to take down Kurzen's men. Today Jonith accompinied me to New Tinkertown to seek support from High Tinker Mekkatorque. I hoped that one of my oldest friends would believe me. Ha! How wrong was I?! We took the tram, and sneaked through Ironforge as much as possible, spotting a few wanted posters for me. We got out and rode to Mekkatorque. Once there I beseeched him to help me get my throne again, but he wouldn't listen. He told me to leave and because of our old friendship would be willing to forget this conversation ever happened. I wouldn't leave, and tried desperately to convince him. He responded by sending his guards after me and Jonith. We escaped to Kharanos and flew back to Stormwind. Where we could finally rest after being persued for so long.

I have one final idea: I'm going to get the boat from Booty Bay to Ratchet, and ride across the Barrens to Darnassus. Once there I will beg for the help of Whisperwind. My hopes are not high. Jonith has said he is coming with me no matter what... We'll see what happens. Hopefully Whisperwind will bloody listen to me...

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