Welcome all

Hello all and welcome to my blog (this is one of the nicest things you will ever here me say), in which i will whine and be cynical about different things until you'll either want to put a bullet through your head or drown yourself in your own piss.

I am now Jooseman, the Artist formerly known as Jonith, and I have stopped using the name Jonith regularly (however do still have many accoun named Jonith, so go by both) as it got confusing, So call me Jooseman or Joose or whatever. Call me TwatBucket if it pleases you.

Our Youtube Channel
Rants up on this blog on Friday if I've done one, just too add a little bit of schedule here.

Anyway thats all from me, and also check out Rofling Officer Productions. He is a collaborater of mine.

Thursday, 31 October 2013

Halloween 2013 Rant: Adventures of Shuggy

Ah it's Halloween again, a time that to watch scary movies and run around the neighbourhood with a pumpkin hanging off your penis in order to scare the little kids. You know, the normal things in life. This means it is also a time to play all the scary games you own, games that will terrify you so much your own shit will jump back into your body to hide from it.

Not me however, because I'm such a wimp that I get scared by eating chocolate, so now that brings me to my annual non scary, completely pointless Halloween rant of 2013. Now start the drumroll as we build up completely meaningless tension to announce the game, because it's in the title anyway.

Adventures of Shuggy
Who'd a guessed it. Anyway, the Adventures of Shuggy is a platform game, which is probably just as scary to me if I had played a game about Evil clowns farting spiders out in all set in elevators. I  on a whole can't stand platform games. A platform game is the gaming equivalent of having a movie based around constantly kicking you in the testicles while you sing whale song. They're just on a whole, constantly repetitive, anger banks, which granted some people enjoy, and these are probably the same people who go home every night and have an elephant give them a footjob. I do not enjoy this.

So I went into the Adventures of Shuggy expecting this same thing, with the finish of a child-like Lovecraftesque setting, aww look at that baby Shoggoth with his fangs and cute eyes. And I was kind of right, except somehow, this was fun for the short time I could actually stand platforming without wanting to blow my own brains out with a harpoon gun.

The story of the game, not that anybody who plays platform games cares about story, as they're usually just jammed in there like a penis inside of an alligator when you tried that kinky sex, is about Shuggy trying to clear his new castle from whatever haunted denizens it now contains. You do this by going through many different levels, collecting so many keys along the way you probably could open the door to the secret Vatican library... Or every chastity belt in a 1800's pornography.

These levels are where this game stands out to most other platformers. For one, these levels give you many different ways to go through them, meaning it is very easy to progress through the game in any way you want, similar to each stage in Super Meat Boy. The other thing these levels give over any other platformer is the sheer amount of gimmicks there are for each level to keep it fresh, it's like a box of chocolate, you never know what you're going to get, if you want to quote the greatest man who has ever lived and the now leader of a Mexican Drug Cartel, Forrest Gump.

These different gimmicks include moving about smaller balls that get scared of you like a jaguar in near some school kids to unlock cages, rotating the screen in order to move yourself or objects about a level, or after a set time, using past copies of yourself in order to press down buttons and progress onwards. While many of these different gimmicks have been used before, the fact that you have so many of these together to keep it fresh, make this a much more enjoyable game.

So, did this change my view of Platformers? No, no it did not, the entire genre still makes me want to shoot anybody dressed in a Super Mario costume. What it did show is that I can find some games that don't more me after 5 minutes of playing in this genre, instead letting me play at least 30 minutes before i feel the need to lay down to sleep on a railway track made out of plutonium.

No comments:

Post a Comment