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Hello all and welcome to my blog (this is one of the nicest things you will ever here me say), in which i will whine and be cynical about different things until you'll either want to put a bullet through your head or drown yourself in your own piss.

I am now Jooseman, the Artist formerly known as Jonith, and I have stopped using the name Jonith regularly (however do still have many accoun named Jonith, so go by both) as it got confusing, So call me Jooseman or Joose or whatever. Call me TwatBucket if it pleases you.

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Rants up on this blog on Friday if I've done one, just too add a little bit of schedule here.

Anyway thats all from me, and also check out Rofling Officer Productions. He is a collaborater of mine.

Saturday, 24 July 2010

My Improved Version of Modern Music

I wish I was alive in the 60’s. There was good music back then and the only thing you had to worry about was the ever looming thought of a fucking Nuclear Bomb dropping onto my head. Then again if I was born then I would have a shit Call of Duty game made about me and the era I lived in, the thought of which would sicken me. If they knew what COD was back then, which they didn’t, yes that's how pretentious I was being when I wrote those words.

Yes there were the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, two of the greatest bands of all time. But the one reason that the music scene was good back then, was one reason and one reason only. They didn’t have the shit which has come out in the past few years. You may wonder why I am writing this (you don’t) and this is because my “business partner” (yes we pretend to be business men, what of it) Daniel Barker has also recently written about modern music and I wanted to give my own view. Yes because my view is always right and anybody who says it’s not deserves to be shot.

Right so the last thing which happened music wise, in 2009 was that a little facebook group made Cheryl Cole cry, which is fucking funny. The reason was that her act from the X Factor, some smiling little prick who I couldn’t give a fuck about, was beaten to the Christmas charts by Rage Against the Machine or whatever the fucking band is called, this was done because they were asked to by a Facebook group. I find this just as bad as the X Factor because both of them were telling you to buy there single like some music loving Nazis. “Buy my single or I’ll take you over there and blow your fucking head off!”

The year 2010 started off pretty similar to last fucking year. So similar I thought that I had walked through a Time Vortex and ended up last year. Lady Gaga released a song which was as shit as usual; I don’t see the appeal with her, she’s like a female Justin Bieber, if that wasn’t already taken by Justin Bieber herself. There was also many one hit wonders, which didn’t really bother me much, such things as Owl City-Fireflies and that sort of shit, however this all soon came to an end when the Brit Awards came on.

The biggest piece of shit which came out from The Brit Awards was Florence and the Machines’ collaboration with Dizzee “Dickhead” Rascal which was called You Got the Dirtee Love, in which Generic Rapper number 41 attempts to rap his own twatty lyrics into the song instead of the actual song ones, while Generic Indie act sings their original song. The song was shit. And then unsurprisingly it went number one. A sentence fit enough to describe the current musical day and age.

And then you get to the newest acts of shitness around. And to start off let’s talk about Eminem’s new album, which was as shit as ever. I watched a documentary about him recently; it kept saying he was a really nice person who gets rid of his anger through his song lyrics. Yes I agree he is really nice UNTIL HE FUCKING PISTOL WHIPS SOMEONE. There was also a song called California Gurls, which if you had read Daniel Barker’s one before this would already have heard about. It is sung by Katy Perry and Scooby Doo (well his name is Snoop Dog.) Also if you had read Daniel Barker’s, you would know this isn’t a remake of a song he likes called California Girls by The Beach Boys, which many people think is a classic. The only way that could be a classic is if there were awards for shitness, it would be a classic in them. True Classic are such things as You can’t always get what you want or Hey Jude. Anyway now back to the shit in hand, California Gurls, the whole point of the song is the video because it basically just is Katy Perry strutting around almost naked, they could have put any song over the top of a video like that. Even a recording of Justin Bieber reading Mein Kampf.

So that brings me to my final point. Justin Bieber, the name enough to make you shudder. He is a ball-less, 16 year old, mophead from the planet of Gaytonia who somehow managed to impress 14 year old fans worldwide with song which will be forgotten by next year, thank god. He constantly sings about fucking girls (ok he constantly sings about kissing girls, fucking is to extreme for this kid) but if you watch the video he only ever manages to stalk them before holding their hand. The only reason people like him is because (mainly gay men and 14 year old girls) they say he is fit. He’s basically the Twilight of music. HE’S NOT FUCKING FIT HE JUST HAS ONE OF THOSE FACES WHICH I WANT TO PUNCH!

And now I’m too angry to carry on writing, Justin Bieber pissed me off that much. It’s a fair bet you will not find this funny because I have just ruined all the music you like. And because this is the case piss off!

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