Resistance 3 Rant.

Again due to messing up my order for a new mouse (I have it at the time of writing, but this intro was written when I did not), so still not having one till probably Monday, I cannot play any games on my PC again. However, this lead me to realise I have a whole collection of Playstation games I have wanted to play but never got around to, and the first one in this list was Resistance 3, the final in a trilogy which made me buy my Playstation in the first place.

Ah The Resistance series, the first one was one of the first games I got on the PS3 and was great. It mixed the fun shootyness of the likes of Serious Sam, and the story telling of (a not as good) Half Life in a blend as nice as Chocolate and cream combined in the Large Hadron Collider. Also it was set in Britain, which adds scores of points to any games I play.

Then there was Resistance 2, which was a bigger slip up than the Incredible Hulk falling over a banana Skin. It took away all of the fun parts of the first game and replaced them with the modern shooter style, probably because of how successful Call of Duty 4 had been. It also has a terrible story, to rival that of the Point and Click about a lampost, and by the end of it, you're hoping Nathan Hale takes a Shark to the balls. The game also seems to punish you in some places for running ahead, with the chameleon mobs, which come out of invisibility to attack you, however if you run too far ahead, they take you from behind (innuendos.) The fact that this game was better received than the first shows how most critics are bi-polar and have the intelligence of a lobotomised Llama.

The answer, yes and no. This game is schizophrenic and jumps around like a crack addled long jumper in how it wants to be taken. The first reason it is like this is because of the health system in the game. It has a non-regenerating health system, which is usually used to make a game fun, however the health system gives you less starting life than a crash test dummy, meaning that you are constantly in cover anyway, even though the game should not be encouraging that. A game needs to swing in one direction instead of both (like a bi sexual ha. ha. ha.) to give the maximum amount of fun.

This effect is also given at other parts in the game, mainly the cut scenes. Unlike Call of Duty, you can open your own doors in this game, so you have advanced to the intelligence of a flea living in a nuclear plant. However, the game constantly takes control away from you more than being put in solitary confinement. It is very jarring and unnecessary as the camera flies all the way across the level too show you where you need to go. Fuck you game.

The fact that you can have more than 2 guns is a great point of the game, because pulling guns out your arse like a prostitute pulls dildos is always fun. The best gun was either the freeze ray combined with the sledgehammer or the one which attaches spores to enemies blowing them up. More games need to use creative guns like these instead of giving AK 47's out like a paedophile gives out sweets.
I didn't play the multiplayer much, but it was ok when I played it, not the best. Also in the singleplayer, they basically copy and paste the Ravenholm level from Half Life 2 into it, but overall it is a pretty damn good game.