So then House MD, for people who know me you will know this is among my favourite shows, but recently this show has become barely watchable. Wait. Come back! I know this is among the most the most popular shows on T.V but admit it, even all you diehard fans know this once unmissable show is losing its greatness with stretched out story lines and relationships we don’t give a damn about (admit it the Foreman, Thirteen relationship in season 5 was absolute TV crap.) I normally go on my laptop while it’s on, that's how bad it’s begun, and friends who I know used to like it have stopped watching it completely. We’re not alone either; ratings have dropped across the Atlantic in America.
By the way if you don’t know what House MD is, it is about Dr Gregory House-a doctor with no bedside manner-tries to solve complex medical cases with the help of his team.
Anyway I can’t wait until the finale of season 6, as the final episode of House seasons are usually great, but what’s stopping them going back to the original s&@t in the next season. So with this in mind, and in an attempt to save my former favourite show, I modestly give you these twelve ways to save House. For free. Yea I know I’m great like that.
1. Make the patients more real, at the moment the patient may as well be a robot (and that really won’t work as how does a robot get sick,-if you think they can have a guess what you are (an Idiot obviously)-and they won’t be able to get insulted by House.) Also make them get sick in new ways, at the moment it is, two friends are together, one of them starts coughing “Are. Are you ok” asks the other, before collapsing on the floor. Change it now!
2. Get rid of all the crap relationships, the main one I mention being Foreman, Thirteen-which thankfully ended at the start of this season.-Have the creators forgotten the name of the show, well for a reminder its House. Now repeat that House, House, House. What is it, no it’s not bloody Foreman MD.
On almost this same point is the overextended storylines, like the Dibala case at the start of this season, oh my god Chase has killed a dictator this could be interesting for a couple of episodes... 8 episodes later F@&k my life WE ALREADY BLOODY KNOW CHASE KILLED SOMEONE.
3. Lucas, bloody Lucas the private investigator who disappears from the series until now when he's dating Cuddy. Probably doing his other job as AN ANNOYING LITTLE PIPSQUEAK. He needs to be killed off (or got rid of humanely.) If you want a PI like guy why don’t you just go the whole way and replace him with Jack Bauer. That would make it so much more interesting, while also giving me a quick way to link this to my next point.
4. Make Season 7 an obvious 24 rip off. House has 24 hours to save Jack Bauer from some deadly disease, while also battling terrorists who want to blow up THE WORLD (or kill the president, or set off a bio weapon, or do something with a nuke. They’ve all been repeated over and over again on 24.) Anyway the season should last 24 hours and House and his team should all become secret agents with their own little guns and everything. Oh and Wilson should say at the start Previously on House
5. House’s cane has been broken so he wants to buy another but all the cane shops are closed. (Hey it could work.)
6. House travels back to back in time to December 3rd 1967 in a race against time to be the first person to perform a Heart Transplantation.
7. House travels back in time to stop himself from using a dodgy American accent instead of his actual English one.
8. Have House travel the universe as The Doctor’s nemesis to try to prove he is the greatest doctor on television.
9. House has been transformed into a glacier and he must diagnose complicated global warming problems in order to survive.
10. House and Housability, a romantic version of house set in the 18th century. Hugh Laurie could wear the costume he used in Blackadder the third. While this is happening House must also diagnose 18th century medical problems. Most answers will be Smallpox, plague or scurvy (in one episode he has to be on a boat.) Most of the cases die, like they would before the age of 30 anyway.
11. Stop House from going from jerk to sympathetic doctor in the blink of an eye. A normal House conversation when talking to a fat, terminal patient would be like “You look like a hippo” “I’m terminal” “I, I’m sorry, is there anything I can do.”
12. Don’t do any of these except 1,2,3 and 11