Welcome all

Hello all and welcome to my blog (this is one of the nicest things you will ever here me say), in which i will whine and be cynical about different things until you'll either want to put a bullet through your head or drown yourself in your own piss.

I am now Jooseman, the Artist formerly known as Jonith, and I have stopped using the name Jonith regularly (however do still have many accoun named Jonith, so go by both) as it got confusing, So call me Jooseman or Joose or whatever. Call me TwatBucket if it pleases you.

Our Youtube Channel
Rants up on this blog on Friday if I've done one, just too add a little bit of schedule here.

Anyway thats all from me, and also check out Rofling Officer Productions. He is a collaborater of mine.

Saturday, 29 May 2010


As I am a lazy bastard I cannot be bothered watching some crappy TV and then writing some crappy jokes about it on one of these very crappy columns, while drinking my crappy cup of tea so you can read about my crappy life while thinking about your crappy life while watching some crappy TV in a world which is basically crap.
Anyway as I cannot be bothered watching those TV shows I have decided to ask some other people who I know to submit a one word answer to the question what should I write about? At first it took them a while to work out what I wanted firstly telling me TV shows I could talk about even though I had all ready told them I didn’t want to talk about that and then secondly I got so much random comments that I found it very hard to say anything about them. To be honest all this was an experiment in futility but here I go at trying to think of my crappy jokes to say about these random things. God I hate my life.
House: I said I didn’t want to say anything about any TV shows but most people just gave me TV shows as their ideas as if that's the only thing they can talk about so here goes for the first one.
HouseSeason 6 of House has ended this week, closing a season which by most people could be classed as the worst ever season, with too many long storylines of no importance to the plot. The good thing though is that the program ended with a high, involving a collapsed crane, House contemplating if he should go back to taking vicodin and Cuddy finishing Lucas before telling House she loves him. Anyway here are my two requests for next season:
1. Get rid of all long storylines except ones for House, Wilson or Cuddy storylines involving House. Maybe flesh out one of the characters in one episode but don’t take it out to long.
2. Don’t make House to sympathetic with terminal patients unless it’s like how he was with the trapped woman in the finale, when he felt sorry for not just her but also himself, which made him angry when she died.

20/20: The next suggestion I got was the one about England winning the Cricket 20/20 world cup, which for most people makes them think we are good, but aren't most countries good at a sport when you are one of the eight countries who seriously compete while the rest are just filler. Any of you who did watch the final though, did you see those people who were dressed up as giant coloured condoms. Now that’s entertainment.

Finales: Lost also finished this week in a finale which was showed at the same time as in America so it was stupidly shown at 5:00 in the morning. Lost is supposedly one of the most complicated programs in TV so this is what I have worked out the story to be. Try escape from the island, time travel, time travel, parallel universes, nuclear bomb, Locke’s dead but isn’t really dead but he actually is because the new Locke is some smoke monster in disguise. Anyway as the only episode I ever watched is the final I have worked out is that Jack Shephard has been chosen by Jacob (there god) to battle Locke/ Smoke Monster who is trying to destroy the island with some reset button while the rest of them try to escape. There is also some parallel universe in which they can remember each other if they touch each other and also if they get certain injuries in one it effects them in the other but it doesn't work for some injuries. Eventually the parallel universe turns out to be some sort of purgatory and that is all I could work out. Also I have heard in earlier episodes there are polar bears for no apparent reason, or there may be, if I had bothered to watch it. Altogether the plot is as strange as that Japanese paedo dog advert.
Also finishing this week is Ashes to Ashes which I have watched but is still as strange as Lost and as I cannot be arsed going into the plot I will say about how 24 is ending in 2 weeks and I believe for the last episode Jack should torture 5 million people in an endless amount of ways before talking really quietly or shouting at the top of his voice. Oh crap that's every other episode. Well at least make it end by revealing that Jack got shot and went back in time while thinking about some strange island in which there are a load of people trying to get home but he is in fact in some purgatory while being chased by some polar bear. Now roll on the next answer.

Daniel: He is the creator of something on YouTube which he believes will start filming soon when it will probably not. The thing is called Both Extremes and is basically this, but in video form which is explained by the fact these rants were supposed to be for his blog before he dropped me. He has a potato shaped head and believes his videos will be a hit even though his highest watched video except his music thing he put up his like 112 views.

Tits, sex, pornography: The problem with things like this is the fact that many people will want me to talk about things to explicit to write about, so I won’t.

Windows and Trees: The other problem about these things is that you get so many random suggestions you cannot talk about them in detail. So I will just cover these things quickly, they were both invented by the CIA. God I’m talking gibberish today, somebody hit me.
So after this experiment I have found out that it is pointless and idiotic leaving me writing about TV which I didn’t want to, other things people already know about, a person that somebody knows, explicit thing and random gibberish. This was stupid. Anyway next week solving the BP oil spill using Facebook.

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